


Doubts

by my_little_nightmare



Category: Renegades - Marissa Meyer
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:54:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26723236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_little_nightmare/pseuds/my_little_nightmare
Summary: Young Nova learns how to shoot a gun with help from Leroy and Ingrid.  I wrote this a while ago, and am just uploading now, so its not great.  enjoy!
Kudos: 3





	Doubts

Nova sat on the edge of the walkway, legs dangling off the edge. She stared at the graffiti on the wall and let her mind wander. She had nowhere to go, nothing to do. Her mind was too cluttered to focus on anything. She heard footsteps approaching and glanced over her shoulder to see Ingrid walking towards her. Ingrid was carrying a gun in one hand and a tin can in the other.  
“Get up,” she said harshly to Nova.  
“Why?” Nova asked, rising to her feet.  
“Because, if you want to help take down the Renegades, avenge your family, and escape this hellhole, you need to know how to shoot.” she scowled. “And, I'm the best shot, so I'm stuck with teaching you.”  
“Oh,” Nova said quietly. “I want to learn.”  
“Yeah, well we need you to.” Ingrid dragged her by the arm to a spot in the tunnels with a swaying lantern hooked to the ceiling. It was still in sight of their home, but far away enough that no one would be hurt. Ingrid tossed her the gun, a big heavy rifle that Nova barely caught before it smashed into the ground.  
“Shoot it at the tin can,” Ingrid said while setting the can down about five feet away from Nova.  
“How? I’ve never shot a gun before!”  
“Just try.” Ingrid replied frustrated. Nova hefted the gun up and squinted while she touched her finger to the trigger. Ingrid stepped back, standing behind Nova now. Nova pulled the trigger. The bullet went wide, striking the concrete tunnel with a clang. Nova staggered back from the force of the kick.  
“No, no, no!” Ingrid growled. “Your form is all wrong. Here, stand like this.” She grabbed the gun from Nova’s hands and raised it to her shoulder. She shut an eye and calmly pulled the trigger. The bullet flew straight through the air and struck the can head on.  
“Here, now try again.” Ingrid said. She handed Nova the gun. “Don’t shoot until I tell you to though.” Nova copied her stance. Ingrid circled around her, looking from every angle, occasionally correcting her form.  
“Ok, try now.” Nova pulled the trigger and this time, the bullet hit the side of the can, clipping it as it sailed a little farther down the tunnel.  
“I hit it!” Nova exclaimed, excitedly jumping up and down. “Did you see Ingrid! I actually hit it!”  
“Good job,” Ingrid said dryly. “You hit the edge of a tin can sitting five feet away. Try again.” Nova brought the rifle back up, this time however, her stance was perfect. Igrid looked in vain for something to critique, but there was nothing.  
“Shoot.” Nova pulled the trigger, and the bullet ripped a whole straight through the can, just shy of Ingrid's bullet hole.  
Ingrid snorted, “Congratulations, you shot a can at five feet, in three tries. You are officially on level with a kindergartener.” Nova’s excitement died. “Try at ten feet now.” Ingrid walked towards a pile of cans that had sat unnoticed against the wall.  
“Go again,” she said while placing a new can a few feet farther away. Nova leveled the gun once more, pressing it into her aching shoulder. She shot. Again, and again, and again. She kept missing it or clipping it, never hitting it head on. Ingrid yelled at Nova every time she screwed up. She constantly corrected Nova’s mistakes, told her what she was doing wrong and compared her skills to that of others.  
Finally Nova snapped. “You think I can do this? I can’t! All you are doing is screaming at me. I’m never going to learn how to fight, shoot a gun, do anything useful, if all you do is scream.” she took in a breath. “I’m done. Find some other kid to scream at. I’m not your student anymore.” She turned to storm off, but Ingrid grabbed her wrist.  
“Do you want to be an anarchist? I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t see your potential. Are you really going to quit, just like that? All because you can’t hit a can?” Nova yanked her hand back. Ingrid let go.  
“Yes.” With that she stalked off.  
Leroy’s door stood ajar, letting light flood into the dark tunnels. Nova wearily pushed it open and collapsed into the dirty armchair.  
“How was training?” Leroy asked, looking at Nova over his shoulder. A bubbling concoction stood in front of him.  
“Hell. I’m awful at shooting. I couldn’t hit a can ten feet away, and I could barely hit one five feet away.” she grumbled.  
“Hey, give yourself less pressure. No one expected you to be perfect when you first shoot a gun. It’ll take time, but you’ll get it. You're still a child.”  
“I don’t even know how to fight someone.” Nova muttered.  
“Here,” Leroy said, handing Nova a rifle he had pulled out from under the table. “Take this appart. Learn how it works. Sometimes I find, the only way I can use something properly is if I know how it works.”  
“It won’t change anything. I’m not an anarchist.”  
“Then why are you here?” Leroy said fiercely.  
“What?” Nova said, confused. Normally Leroy supported her. He had never raised his voice or said a cruel word.  
“You heard me. If you don’t want to be an anarchist, then why are you here?”  
Nova stuttered, “Ace took me-”  
“No.” Leroy cut her off. “I know Ace took you in, but why are you still here. You could easily go, no one would stop you. You owe us no debt. What's stopping you from leaving?” He took her hands in his rough scarred ones. “You are an anarchist because you want something. You want to avenge your family. Do you think you would have stayed here for two years if you did not have a reason too?” His hands squeezed hers, and he stared into her eyes, imploring her to listen. “We are your way to vengeance. And if I know anything, you will use everything it takes to get there. So learning to shoot a gun is just one factor. Try another day. You won’t get it at first, but it will come to you.”  
Nova felt as if ice was surging through her veins. Her spine straightened and she stared Leroy straight in the eyes.  
“Go. You can do this. Have fun, Nightmare.” Nova got up, holding the old rifle. She left Leroy's train car and headed to hers, a spring in her step. She threw open her door and tossed the rifle onto her work table. She sat onto the hard stool and pulled out several tools. Nova craned her neck over the dented metal, picked up a screwdriver and began to examine the gun.  
After an hour, Nova had successfully disassembled it, and after three hours she had managed to put it back together again. She assumed night had fallen from the thunderous snores coming from Ingrid's room. Now, with the gun fully rebuilt, she actually understood how to use it, how to aim, how to load it, how to take care of it. She felt exhausted.  
Nova rested her head on the table and closed her eyes, trying to sleep one more time. Even though she knew she would regret it. As soon as her eyes shut, a BANG sounded. She saw her mother collapse. BANG. her father's blood sprayed across the room. BANG. Little Evie's cries stopped. Nova clutched her head as tears streamed down her face. She let out a guttural scream. Her eyes flew open. Sweat poured down her back, her breaths were ragged and uneven. Nova looked at the gun resting next to her on the table. She pushed herself up and grabbed it. She slipped out of her train car, into the damp chill of the defunct subway tunnels. Nova slung the gun across her back and walked over to the spot where Ingrid had set up the cans. A pile of them still stood by the side of the tunnel. She picked one up, and set it down, then backed up about ten feet. She lifted up the rifle and peered down the sights. She lined up her target and fired. The bullet sailed through the air and pierced the can, just shy of the center. Nova scowled, lifted the gun back up and shot again. She shot another three times, finally hitting the can dead on. The can was now a smoking hunk of scraps. Nova kicked that can to the side, and set another one up a feet farther back.  
Nova stared down the sights, into the can, picturing Captain Chromium’s perfect face. She summoned all the rage she felt for him, for failing her, for letting her family die.  
“Pull the trigger, Nova,” she whispered to herself, the terror still fresh in her mind, even two years later. “Pull. The. Trigger.” she hissed. BANG BANG BANG. Her family was dead because the man who had killed them didn’t miss. So neither would she.


End file.
